by Melanie Gallo, PhD
Have you ever thought to yourself “I don’t like myself”? Well, if you have, believe me, you’re not the only one.
The larger question is “WHY am I thinking this way?“
There are many logical answers you can give yourself as an answer. But, there are also a lot of illogical questions and answers that can grow from that.
Let’s look at some of the real reasons one might ask themself a question like that.
Doctor Leah Benson is a Licenced Mental Health Consultant that has a three-point system of answers to the question.
Why is this happening?
The first major reason for the occurrence of this question is the social pressure inflicted on our everyday decisions and actions. Dr. Benson describes it as “not following the rules”.
Of course, this is a serious issue for people who cannot conform to a specific social rulebook. Things like properly talking, eating, walking, dressing, and etiquette can make a person feel alienated.
Another side of this is not living up to one's expectations. This could be portrayed in both family and work style scenarios.
The second major reason is not following your heart and gut. This one is more or less connected to the expectations that are forced upon third parties.
Nevertheless, the effect that it has on your brain has its own function.
Because you don’t listen to your heart nor gut, you often feel like you’re doing everything wrong. You disregard great accomplishments like they’re everyday chores.
You feel like nothing is worth the time or energy to start and finish. It’s like nothing makes sense.
The third reason is a mixture of the first two. You follow the signs that your heart and gut give you, but it’s contradictory to the rules of the socium.
Obviously, this leaves you feeling like you’re bound and obligated to follow the rules, even though you know you shouldn’t.
After that, It’s just questioning the authenticity of your life.
Ok, now what?
It is definitely not easy to face yourself and admit you want to start liking yourself because, face it, it feels unnatural.
The sensation of not being a big fan of yours has been there for so long that you can’t comprehend a world in which you actually feel good in your skin.
But, there is hope, and here are five tips that could help with the transition.
Accept Failure
Understand that failing is a natural and much-needed aspect of our lives. Without failing, you don’t learn how to get up and start again. Think and embrace your weaknesses.
Bask in the audience
Sometimes you just have to sit back and enjoy your accomplishments. No one is going to do it for you, and you deserve to be acknowledged.
It doesn’t matter If they are accomplishments from a couple of years ago.
It makes you feel good, so it's good for you.
Make fun of yourself
Stand in front of the mirror and just have a crack at it. There is an exercise where you go in front of the mirror every morning, and you make the goofiest smile or face that comes to you.
Don’t only mock yourself, compliment yourself. Maybe your hair today isn’t that bad, maybe you like your eyes or your smile. It can’t be all that bad, can It?
Go on a date with yourself
Spending quality time with yourself is crucial. Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. Have a great meal, drink good wine, go to the cinema by yourself - you deserve it.
Comprehend that no one is perfect!
Take it easy on yourself and accept imperfection - Lower your standards towards yourself!
No one is as perfect as you think they are. 99% of the stuff online is touched up,, edited, or filtered. Try not to adopt someone else’s lifestyle to improve yours - you are great just the way you are, and everything will be just fine.
Final Thoughts
There are many reasons why you should like yourself. You can get more done in less time, be more productive at work and school, make better decisions about your life goals, increase the likelihood of achieving success with no regrets… the list goes on!
The next step? Just fall in love with yourself (literally). It doesn't matter if other people do or not; just find something about yourself that makes you happy and focus on bringing out those qualities into your everyday routine.
And then repeat after me - "I am enough.”
Then, say it again until you believe it!
I’m Melanie Gallo, Ph.D., a WorkLife Psychology coach and writer specializing in personality and thinking habits. I help today’s leaders and their team members define their WorkLifeJoy, then help them discover why they don't have it, why they need it, how to get it, and how to keep it. Get in touch directly or download my free Coach2GO app today.
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